Always Wash the Produce

If you’ve ever needed or wanted a really, really good reason to thoroughly wash your grocery store or farmers market bought produce . . . my five-year old IS that reason.

Here’s my typical grocery store/farmers market experience with MIC (“My Imaginary Child”):

Scene:  (Mommy and MIC walk into produce section.)

Things my kid will touch at the grocery store.  (Cliff Note’s Version:  Everything).

MIC:  “Mommy what is this green thing (touch) it looks like a cucumber (touch touch) oh look a green pumpkin (touch touch touch touch touch touch) I really want to get a pumpkin now for Halloween let’s go look at the tomatoes (touch) why are there so many different kinds of tomatoes (touches all the tomatos) I like the kind that look like more of an oval than a circle (touches most of the ovals) I hate avocados (touch) why do you like avocados so much mommy (touch touch) I do NOT want you to buy any onions (doesn’t touch) I’m bored let’s go to the cracker aisle (a touching inconsequential zone).”

Me:  (Audible sigh.)

I would love for a reality television show to follow us around the grocery store.  The end result would be a 90-minute documentary of MIC’s stream-of-consciousness verbal commentary on the vast majority of products located there.  Why he likes them/doesn’t like them/thinks we should buy them/thinks we never should buy them/things that look gross/what looks good in other people’s baskets . . . etc.

And so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on.

So I highly recommend thoroughly washing any non-packaged item bought from such a place.  And don’t make any assumptions about what you think he may or may not be able to reach.  I’ve caught him climbing on the outer edge of those open-faced grocery store coolers to “check something cool out”.

The problem is . . .everything’s cool to an imaginary five-year old.

© Two too smart, smartass mommies 2011