If you’ve ever needed or wanted a really, really good reason to thoroughly wash your grocery store or farmers market bought produce . . . my five-year old IS that reason.
Here’s my typical grocery store/farmers market experience with MIC (“My Imaginary Child”):
Scene: (Mommy and MIC walk into produce section.)
MIC: “Mommy what is this green thing (touch) it looks like a cucumber (touch touch) oh look a green pumpkin (touch touch touch touch touch touch) I really want to get a pumpkin now for Halloween let’s go look at the tomatoes (touch) why are there so many different kinds of tomatoes (touches all the tomatos) I like the kind that look like more of an oval than a circle (touches most of the ovals) I hate avocados (touch) why do you like avocados so much mommy (touch touch) I do NOT want you to buy any onions (doesn’t touch) I’m bored let’s go to the cracker aisle (a touching inconsequential zone).”
Me: (Audible sigh.)
I would love for a reality television show to follow us around the grocery store. The end result would be a 90-minute documentary of MIC’s stream-of-consciousness verbal commentary on the vast majority of products located there. Why he likes them/doesn’t like them/thinks we should buy them/thinks we never should buy them/things that look gross/what looks good in other people’s baskets . . . etc.
And so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on.
So I highly recommend thoroughly washing any non-packaged item bought from such a place. And don’t make any assumptions about what you think he may or may not be able to reach. I’ve caught him climbing on the outer edge of those open-faced grocery store coolers to “check something cool out”.
The problem is . . .everything’s cool to an imaginary five-year old.