Our Cute Kids

We’ve been seriously busting our collective asses trying to do well in this “Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Mom Blogs” contest.  And by busting we mean sending out a lot of e-mails and Facebook requests and by asses we mean the intelligent donkeys we’ve got penned up in the back yard.  We’re not scared to admit it.  In fact, we are owning it!

In looking for ideas to increase our popularity, I changed our profile pic. This action was a bit confusing to a long-time friend of mine and the conversation went something like this (I give myself permission to plagiarize myself on my own blog).  Let’s call my friend ‘Erin’ because that’s her name:



Erin: “Geez.  You guys really confused me by changing your profile pic.  Let’s hope it doesn’t happen again.”

Me: “So sorry. I decided to try using my kid's cute school picture to see if that would help our cause.”

Erin: “It does.  It’s a cute one.” (See!  I told you!)

Me:  “I certainly think so.  I'm hoping other mommies see that adorable little face and think, ‘Awwwww, poor thing.  His mother writes like a rambling idiot, so I better vote for them because he probably needs new shoes.’ Or something like that.”

Erin: “Throw him on a Memphis corner tomorrow with a sign that says ‘Vote for my mommy “Two Too Smart, Smartass Mommies,” provide an iPad so that people stopping by can quickly log in. But give him a jar to collect change anyway.  At least you could get some cash out of it. Or use it to bribe him to sit out there.”

Me: “Well . . . that wouldn't work very well, because votes are registered by your IP address, so it would only do the trick once. Secondly, we live in Memphis, so it wouldn't take long before somebody steals the iPad.  Thirdly, I'm not sure what the success rate is of a cute, redheaded Jewish kid panhandling on the streets, but I'm guessing it's pretty low.  Fourthly, he's four, so he thinks 75 cents is a LOT of money.  Somebody would toss him a couple of quarters, two dimes and nickel and he'd be done for the day.  Lastly, he doesn’t ‘just sit there’.  He never ‘just sits there’. But other than that, it's a great idea.”

So I started thinking more about this whole concept of ‘using our kids to get what WE really want’ and I realize that every parent does it at least once a year, all at the same time!  It’s called Halloween bitches.  Let’s really be honest about that “holiday,” shall we?  How much of that chocolate deliciousness to WE eat while simultaneously telling our children NOT to even though they did the vast majority of the begging trick-or-treating in the first place.

"The Girl"

So yes, I am showing off the kids.  After all, they need something to show their therapists in about ten years.

(Side note: Stacy says that in this picture “the girl” is showing her daddy a ‘boo boo’ she got on her middle finger.  Yeah, I’m not buying it either.)


Note to readers:  Yes, this post has been changed from the original, due to a fabulously written letter that one of us received from our ex-husband’s attorney.  I’m not saying which one of us.  So, henceforth, please review the disclaimer found in the “About Us” section of our site.  Because it’s just awesome.

© Two too smart, smartass mommies 2011