Holy cow. Sanctimommy alert. A great stationery product line that I’m “friends” with on Facebook (yes, I’m friends with paper) recently posted the following question (which they inexplicably do more often than not. I’m beginning to wonder if they are moving from selling paper to making social commentary. Wait . . . what the hell! That’s OUR job. I digress).
The question was: “Would you ever re-gift for a kid’s party? What about for an adult?”
Answer (in my head): “I can smell the Sanctimommy-ness coming on. Ready in 3 . . . 2 . . . .1 . . . Go!”
I got my wish.
Actual Answer from Somebody Else. Definitely not me:
NEVER regift. Very rude. You didn't put any though (sic) into your gift. Plus if you give it and the recipient already has it, it breaks or doesn't like it, they can't return it. Biggest pet peeve to not include a gift receipt with a gift.
Let’s break this little gem down, shall we?
“Biggest pet peeve to not include a gift receipt with a gift.”
BIGGEST pet peeve?? Really?? If I had to list my pet peeves in order without putting too much thought into it (because I have to pick “the boy” up from school in about an hour. Oh wait. Fuck. I mean, I have to pick up my fictional child from his imaginary school), I would say something along the lines of Biggest Pet Peeve = “People Cutting Me Off On the Interstate” because, you know, that can result in a massive, multi-car pileup resulting in significant bodily harm. Or even death. Which I think is worse. Not including a gift receipt?? . . . not so much.
“You didn’t put any though(t) into your gift (when you regift)”
Bitch . . .the HELL I didn’t!! I THOUGHT about giving a gift that I had previously received that I:
a) Didn’t want.
b) Had no use for.
c) Thought you might like.
d) Didn’t want to buy because I’m broke.
e) Didn’t want to buy because I am environmentally friendly (meaning, I didn’t have to drive my SUV ALL AROUND THE DAMN TOWN looking for a separate gift for YOUR bitchy ass); and,
f) Didn’t want to buy because I don’t really like you all that much; however, I still have some societal obligation to get you something (for whatever reason) and therefore couldn’t be bothered.
See??? That list took some serious “thought”.
“Plus if you give it and the recipient already has it . . . . they can’t return it.”
You’re RIGHT. They can, however, re-gift it. Just like we do. All the damn time. Even the gift bags!!
Greenpeace . . . you’re welcome.